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Research Article


DOI :10.26650/SJ.2023.43.1.0029   IUP :10.26650/SJ.2023.43.1.0029    Full Text (PDF)

Parenting Experiences with Children in Care: "Being a mother always feels incomplete to me"

Fatih Kucur, Özge Kelebek, Melike Semerci

Based on the idea that individual behaviors and attitudes reflected in daily life are a projection of past experiences, this study aimed to explore the experiences of parents with a history of institutional care by focusing on the parent-child relationship. Thiscurrent study was conducted through phenomenological approach which is a type of qualitative research design. Participants in the study were recruited by using snowball sampling. In this context, in-depth interviews were conducted with a total of 14 people including 9 women and 5 men. The data obtained from the research were thematized with the qualitative analysis program called as MAXQDA 2020 and interpreted within the framework of two main themes: "parent-child relationships" and "perceptions of parenthood". As a result of the research, it was found that the factors such as the participants’ backgrounds in day care centers and dormitories, the length of their stay in institutions, their relationships with their biological families, and the role of the environment greatly influenced their parenting approaches. In addition, it was observed that they tried to compensate for the deficiencies of their past experiences in their parenting processes, accordingly, they followed a more selfless and emotionally intense attitude. In this regard, based on the findings of the study, it is revealed that individuals should be prepared for the process with healthy and holistic biopsychosocial policies both during and after the institutionalization process and institutions should be managed with holistic policies.

Keywords: Institutional care, orphanage, child in care, family, parent-child
DOI :10.26650/SJ.2023.43.1.0029   IUP :10.26650/SJ.2023.43.1.0029    Full Text (PDF)

Kurum Bakımı Geçmişi Olan Bireylerin Ebeveynlik Deneyimleri: “Bana Göre Anne Olmak Hep Eksik Hissetmek”

Fatih Kucur, Özge Kelebek, Melike Semerci

Bireyin günlük hayatına yansıyan davranışlarının, tutumlarının geçmiş tecrübelerin bir izdüşümü olduğu düşüncesi ile hareket edilen bu çalışmada, kurumbakımı geçmişine sahip ebeveynlerin, ebeveyn-çocuk ilişkisine odaklanarak deneyimlerinin keşfedilmesi amaçlanmıştır. Araştırma, nitel araştırma desenlerinden fenomenolojik yaklaşım kullanılarak gerçekleştirilmiştir. Araştırmanın katılımcılarına kartopu örnekleme yöntemiyle ulaşılmıştır. Bu kapsamda ulaşılan 9 kadın 5 erkek olmak üzere toplam 14 kişiyle derinlemesine görüşmeler yapılmıştır. Araştırmadan elde edilen veriler, MAXQDA 2020 nitel analiz programıyla temalandırılmış ve “ebeveyn-çocuk ilişkileri” ile “ebeveynliğe dair algılar” olmak üzere 2 ana tema çerçevesinde yorumlanmıştır. Araştırma sonucunda katılımcıların; yuva ve yurt geçmişleri, kurumda kalma süreleri, biyolojik aileleri ile ilişkileri, çevrenin rolü gibi etkenlerin ebeveynlik yaklaşımlarını büyük ölçüde etkilediği bulgusuna ulaşılmıştır. Ayrıca kendi ebeveynlik süreçlerinde geçmiş yaşantılarındaki eksiklikleri telafi etme yoluna gittikleri ve buna bağlı olarak daha özverili, duygu yoğunluklu bir tutum izledikleri görülmüştür. Bu açıdan araştırmanın bulgularından hareketle, bireylerin gerek kurum süreçlerinde ve gerekse kurum sonrası süreçte sağlıklı ve bütünlüklü biyopsikososyal politikalar ile desteklenmesinin ve kurumların da bütünlüklü politikalarla yönetilmesinin gerekliliği ortaya çıkmıştır.

Keywords: Kurum bakımı, yetiştirme yurdu, çocuk yuvası, kurumda yetişen çocuklar, aile, ebeveyn-çocuk

EXTENDED ABSTRACT


Our study aimed to evaluate the meaning attributed to the parenthood in the context of the past experience of the institution by revealing the parent-child relationship of parents who stayed in orphanages. For this purpose, a phenomenological approach, a type of the qualitative research design, was adopted and nine female and five male participants were reached by snowball sampling method. Observation and in-depth interviews were used for data collection. For in-depth interviews, literature-based semi-structured interview questions and a socio-demographic information form were prepared and then reviewed in detail by three researchers. As a result, a sociodemographic information form includes age, marital status, place of residence, level of education, number of children. In addition, semi-structured interview covers the questions regarding information about the institutional care process and parenting after institutional care. The interviews were conducted by two researchers and after the interview, the third researcher evaluated the interview content and mutually interpreted the data. By using this method, observations were made during the interviews and they were shared with the notes taken. While two of the interviews were conducted face to face in Eskişehir, the rest of the interviews were conducted online. The reason for the predominance of online interviews was due to the limited time of the participants as they had dependent children. The interviews were audio-recorded with the consent of the participants after the researcher informed them that the information would remain anonymous. One of the participants did not accept the audio recording due to confidentiality concerns, so the researcher took notes by hand. The interviews lasted 30 minutes on average. Data from the study were collected over an average period of 2 months between 01/15/2022 and 03/01/2022. The data obtained from the research was deciphered and coded thematically by MAXQDA 2020 qualitative analysis program. The data were coded and compared separately by two researchers in order to reach a consensus between the researchers which is important for the reliability of the data. As a result, an agreement was reached on common code titles and code content. After the analysis of the codes, the process of interpretation and visualization began.

The data obtained as a result of the research were interpreted through two main themes, namely "parent-child relationships" and "definitions and perceptions of parenting". In line with these, the research question is as follows "What are the parenting experiences and perceptions of parents with a history of institutional care?”.

In addition to the altruistic and supportive approach, another finding of the study is that the bond developed with the children within the framework of a "friendship" relationship. When participants’ relationships with their children were evaluated in our study, the use of the concepts of "loving" and "being loved" together, as well as friendship, was interpreted as parents were fulfilling this feeling through their children since children are viewed as an important source of support for parents and representor of the family that they have created for themselves.

In the light of the other findings of this study, the weak bond with the staff in the institutional environment, the negative attitudes and behaviors exposed during the institutional process, and the longing for their biological parents appear as important factors influencing the parenting process. As far as our study is concerned, one of the most important findings is that all participants tried to be more sensitive in their behaviors towards their children and tried to make them feel loved in their approach style. In addition, it was also observed in the interviews that although they remembered their past family experiences negatively, they showed a more possessive attitude towards the families they created. Thus, it appears that the participants are more aware of the importance of family, as opposed to their biological families and they are more sensitive to their children as a result of their negative experiences. This finding of our research is in line with many other studies. Again, within this theme, it was found that the greatest support, especially in child care, was received from spouses.

In our research, participants were asked to define being a mother and father, and the results showed that they emphasized the feeling that their biological mothers and fathers left incomplete. As a general assessment, the participants preferred to talk about the meaning they ascribed to their children rather than to themselves, and they ascribed to the child the meaning of "filling a gap" in their lives. This study found that participants characterized children with terms such as "source of happiness" and "joy of the house" and that children played an important role in reinforcing parents’ sense of personal success. On the other hand, another finding of this study was that participants with a day care background used more expressions to describe parenting than participants without a day care background. This was interpreted as that the participants with a day care background felt the absence of their parents and longing for their parents more in early childhood, which made a more emotional transference of these concepts. In addition to all these definitions, one of the interesting findings of the study was that some male participants described the meaning of being a father as "being God" and similar descriptions.

In conclusion, the data obtained in this study show that the parenting experiences of individuals with a history of institutional care are influenced by their institutional experiences. Again, the data from this study show us that the long-term effects of institutional care should not be ignored for a healthy family environment. In this regard, it becomes clear that individuals should be prepared for the process with healthy and holistic biopsychosocial policies both during and after institutionalization, and that institutions should be managed by holistic policies.

Based on the results of the research, it is recommended to provide psychosocial support services to individuals leaving institutional care in order to raise awareness about family and marriage and to conduct studies so that individuals and children can spend time together. In this sense, individual and family-oriented social service studies should be carried out to enable individuals to cope with their past life experiences.


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APA

Kucur, F., Kelebek, Ö., & Semerci, M. (2023). Parenting Experiences with Children in Care: "Being a mother always feels incomplete to me". İstanbul University Journal of Sociology, 43(1), 40-53. https://doi.org/10.26650/SJ.2023.43.1.0029


AMA

Kucur F, Kelebek Ö, Semerci M. Parenting Experiences with Children in Care: "Being a mother always feels incomplete to me". İstanbul University Journal of Sociology. 2023;43(1):40-53. https://doi.org/10.26650/SJ.2023.43.1.0029


ABNT

Kucur, F.; Kelebek, Ö.; Semerci, M. Parenting Experiences with Children in Care: "Being a mother always feels incomplete to me". İstanbul University Journal of Sociology, [Publisher Location], v. 43, n. 1, p. 40-53, 2023.


Chicago: Author-Date Style

Kucur, Fatih, and Özge Kelebek and Melike Semerci. 2023. “Parenting Experiences with Children in Care: "Being a mother always feels incomplete to me".” İstanbul University Journal of Sociology 43, no. 1: 40-53. https://doi.org/10.26650/SJ.2023.43.1.0029


Chicago: Humanities Style

Kucur, Fatih, and Özge Kelebek and Melike Semerci. “Parenting Experiences with Children in Care: "Being a mother always feels incomplete to me".” İstanbul University Journal of Sociology 43, no. 1 (May. 2024): 40-53. https://doi.org/10.26650/SJ.2023.43.1.0029


Harvard: Australian Style

Kucur, F & Kelebek, Ö & Semerci, M 2023, 'Parenting Experiences with Children in Care: "Being a mother always feels incomplete to me"', İstanbul University Journal of Sociology, vol. 43, no. 1, pp. 40-53, viewed 20 May. 2024, https://doi.org/10.26650/SJ.2023.43.1.0029


Harvard: Author-Date Style

Kucur, F. and Kelebek, Ö. and Semerci, M. (2023) ‘Parenting Experiences with Children in Care: "Being a mother always feels incomplete to me"’, İstanbul University Journal of Sociology, 43(1), pp. 40-53. https://doi.org/10.26650/SJ.2023.43.1.0029 (20 May. 2024).


MLA

Kucur, Fatih, and Özge Kelebek and Melike Semerci. “Parenting Experiences with Children in Care: "Being a mother always feels incomplete to me".” İstanbul University Journal of Sociology, vol. 43, no. 1, 2023, pp. 40-53. [Database Container], https://doi.org/10.26650/SJ.2023.43.1.0029


Vancouver

Kucur F, Kelebek Ö, Semerci M. Parenting Experiences with Children in Care: "Being a mother always feels incomplete to me". İstanbul University Journal of Sociology [Internet]. 20 May. 2024 [cited 20 May. 2024];43(1):40-53. Available from: https://doi.org/10.26650/SJ.2023.43.1.0029 doi: 10.26650/SJ.2023.43.1.0029


ISNAD

Kucur, Fatih - Kelebek, Özge - Semerci, Melike. “Parenting Experiences with Children in Care: "Being a mother always feels incomplete to me"”. İstanbul University Journal of Sociology 43/1 (May. 2024): 40-53. https://doi.org/10.26650/SJ.2023.43.1.0029



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Submitted31.03.2023
Accepted12.07.2023
Published Online24.07.2023

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